I looked up and saw my daughter running towards me, “The boys said I did ______, but I didn’t mom.” I see the tears forming in her eyes.
“Honey if you didn’t do it, why are you worried about it?” I asked.
“I just didn’t do it mom, and I don’t want them saying I did.”
How do you explain to a 5-year-old that actions speak louder than words? How do you tell her that if she didn’t do it, don’t worry about it?
She came running to me to defend herself, but it wasn’t needed. She wasn’t going to be in trouble for the act they said she did in the first place. To top it off, she didn’t even do it (I am still not sure what “it” was in the first place). It’s no big deal, wipe it off, and carry on.
But is it really no big deal? I’ve been there… I am there… people saying very untrue things about me, trying to destroy my character and image with their slander. I desperately want to defend myself, but I know there’s no point. A liar is just going to keep lying… keep twisting facts to make their point known. Unfortunately, some people would rather believe their lies than the truth.
But what can I do? I could spit out the facts, tell my side of the story. I could defend myself and drag those people who want to spread lies about me down. But honestly, what good comes from that? None- Now I have brought myself into drama.
Repaying evil with evil benefits no one. (Not that sharing facts is evil, but motive matters. Sharing facts to make someone look bad is wrong. Gossip is gossip whether the facts originated in truth or not.) This only results in everyone being hurt, frustrated, mad, and other negative feelings. No situation like this can be handled by man’s (or woman’s) scheming.
There’s only one opinion I need to worry about- that’s God’s opinion. He’s been there through the whole thing. He knows the truth, and He has brought me through the situation into His love and peace. As much as I want to defend myself, I know that God will defend me.
I know there is no reason to indulge in the drama… but that doesn’t mean my sin nature doesn’t get a hold of me and try to convince me to participate by defending my honor.
At times like this I have to remember Proverbs 6: 15-19, “There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.” These people will be brought to justice. God hates what they are doing. It is not my job to bring their justice. It is my job to trust in God’s perfect timing.
So, what can you do when you are in this situation? The only answer is give it up to God. Pray for those who persecute you. Pray for those who spread lies and partial truths. Pray for those who are influenced by their misconceptions. But most importantly, pray that God guards your heart so that you are not swayed giving the enemy a foothold of your heart.
Allowing just a little sin, even when worldly justified, is not worth it. Trust that God has it under control. Pray for those people. Pray for them because no matter what you do, at the end of the day, God reserves the right to change another person. We do not have that ability. Pray for them because they need Jesus. They need a relationship with Christ.
As much as these lies hurt me, it also saddens me. I do not want anyone spending eternity separated from God. I pray that the Lord continues to pursue and reveal Himself to these people. That they will let go of their selfish ways and their pride and allow Christ to be the King of their hearts. I pray that they can turn from their ways and embrace God’s ways.
Anyone who is in a similar situation- I know. I know how hurtful it is to know that people you care about believe lies spread by another person. I know how hard it is to not defend yourself. But remember, you are better than lies. You are better than drama. You are a daughter of the heavenly King. He will defend you. He will bring you through the storm. It may not turn out the way you want it to, but His plans are far better than any plan you can dream of yourself.
Trust- God’s got this under control.
See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people.
1 Thessalonians 5:15